


Floating City

by EHyde



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Gen, fan episode, podcast-style
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-05
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-22 13:08:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/913569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EHyde/pseuds/EHyde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new off-ramp has appeared on Interstate 800. It appears to lead to the giant floating city that's hovering in the sky over Night Vale. Plus, an update from Intern Dana!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Floating City

Truth is stranger than fiction, because we cannot invent what we cannot comprehend. Welcome to Night Vale.

\---

People have been calling in to the station to report sightings of strange clouds in the sky around Night Vale. I’m not sure yet if the clouds _themselves_ are strange, or if it’s just strange that there are clouds at all this time of year. More on this story as we get more information.

\---

Of course, the desert is dry year-round, but the late summer is when fire danger is at its most severe. The Night Vale Volunteer Fire Department has announced that, in cooperation with a vague, yet menacing, government agency, they’re launching a new program for wildfire control using unmanned aerial drones. Local residents with the appropriate knowledge and experience have been volunteered for the program automatically, and will be informed of this through subliminal dream imagery sometime in the near future.

\---

Well, listeners, there’s not much more to report on the strange clouds, as they seem to have dissipated with the midday sun. However, we’re now getting calls about shining towers glistening in the air above the horizon. It would appear that the unusual cloud formations heralded the arrival of a great floating city to the Night Vale skies. We can’t make out many details yet, but at the very least, it’s not coming from the direction of Desert Bluffs. So, that’s a good sign.

\---

Are you feeling cramped in your living space? Instead of upsizing your home, why not consider downsizing your family? Local paramilitary groups and world government subsidiaries are always in the market for children. You can be sure that, while you won’t ever see your son or daughter again, they will receive a top-of-the-line education and be equipped to survive almost any situation, real or otherwise. Remember, it’s never a good idea to disrupt a child’s life in the middle of the school year, so if selling your son or daughter into indentured military servitude is the right choice for your family, best do it now, before the summer ends. School starts up again on September 3--that’s just around the corner! A non-specific military organization has told me that they’re conducting a school supply drive for their new recruits. Notebooks and notebook paper would be especially helpful, as would bullets and wilderness survival gear, but please keep in mind that all writing implements are absolutely illegal.

\---

It looks like they’ve built a new off-ramp on Interstate 800 heading north from Night Vale. None of us here at the station can remember seeing any construction crews up that way recently, but exit 72B is definitely there now, and road signs indicate that it leads to the floating city. We still have very little information about the city itself, so I’ve sent Intern Devon up that way to investigate. His phone cut out just after he exited the freeway, but he called me back a few minutes later to tell me that the floating city is both beautiful and enormous, and has an incredible view. He added that he’s always wanted to visit a big city, and that while New York was first on his list, this is almost as good.

\---

Speaking of our interns, I’ve heard from Intern Dana again! She asked me to pass on her thanks to whoever it was who tossed the dried fruit, turkey jerky, and especially the self-replicating birthday cupcakes over the walls of the dog park for her. She mentioned that as a young girl, she always thought that self-replicating cupcakes were an annoying gimmick, but that without a stable food supply she’s really come to appreciate them.

Her most recent text, which came in just this morning, reads _I don’t know if I am safe here anymore. The walls are too low. Don’t look up don’t look up DON’T LOOK UP_. Maybe whoever’s been sending her food can add a note of encouragement next time, since my texts still aren’t getting through? Tell her that a little panic is only natural--it is the dog park, after all--but she’s survived this long, and she’s sure to find a way out eventually. We’re all keeping you in our prayers, chants, and sacrifices here at the station, Dana.

\---

Mayor Pamela Winchell called an emergency press conference to discuss the giant floating city now hovering in the skies above Night Vale. She informed reporters that this is part of the “sister cities” program, and encouraged friendly and open interaction between Night Vale and the floating city.

However, the Sheriff’s Secret Police, whose helicopters have been active all morning, issued a statement telling citizens to stay away from the floating city. They warned that anyone seen using exit 72B will incur a traffic ticket with, I quote, “a very hefty fine.”

\---

Listeners, this is exciting! We just received a press release from the floating city. It fell to the station roof in a small wooden box covered in an unreadable ancient script and suspended by a black parachute. The press release itself appears to be a statement from the floating city’s Chamber of Commerce, advertising positive aspects of their city. Hmm … wow! Apparently they boast an inexpensive but efficient public transit system; a vibrant nightlife; an international airport with daily flights to and from major cities all over the world; constant video, internet, and brainscan surveillance; an astronomically aligned bloodstone temple with, I quote, “the most impressively stained glass windows you will ever see”; top-rated public schools; community bike paths; and accessible public parks (which include a riverfront boating area). Also, they’re slated to become a Google Fiber City in 2015. Well, listeners, I must say, the floating city sounds like a wonderful place to live! If the big city life suits you, of course. I’m not sure I could ever adjust to the pace of living in a city--our small, quiet town, where everyone knows and watches everyone else, will always be home to me.

\---

It’s Summer Orientation Week for incoming freshmen at Night Vale Community College. As always, non-local students have been taken to a special orientation session organized by the Sheriff’s Secret Police at the abandoned mine shaft outside of town. I’m always excited to see the survivors crawl back into town at the end of that program. High school graduates come here to NVCC from all over the country, and although many of them initially seem confused as to how they got here, by the end of the week they’ll be ready and eager to join their local classmates as valuable contributors to the Night Vale college experience.

\---

The mayor has revised her earlier statement, clarifying that when she said “sister city,” she meant “sister” in the sense of “one who has devoured her twin in the womb.” “Obviously,” said Mayor Pamela Winchell through clenched teeth. “What else could I _possibly_ have meant?” The Mayor, City Council, and Sheriff’s Secret Police are now all in agreement: DO NOT VISIT THE FLOATING CITY.

\---

A word from our sponsor.

Reach out. It’s so close you can almost touch it. Just open your arms to the possibility … no. You missed. Now it’s shattered on the ground in a thousand pieces, and you will never be able to fix this, never repair the damage, never pay for what you, through your negligence, have destroyed. Your life as you knew it is over, and a smiling woman in a sterile white apron is coming to take you away because you made the wrong choice, once, and she cannot help you now.

Progressive.

Name your price.

\---

Carlos called during the break just now. He’s been investigating the floating city from his laboratory, and he told me that his scientific equipment can’t detect anything solid in the sky above Night Vale, but that after that business with the house that didn’t exist, he’s not ruling out the possibility of there being _something_ up there anyway. I reminded Carlos that Intern Devon and several other Night Vale citizens--as there have been reports of cars blatantly ignoring police vehicles and taking exit 72B at dangerously high speeds--are on the floating city already, so there must be _something_ there, but Carlos didn’t seem convinced. He _did_ say that he’d been picking up readings of strange weather patterns and severe storms in the area, and asked me to issue a tornado warning. I’m not sure what he’s getting at--other than the floating city, today’s sky is pure void--but at any rate, here is [the weather](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owS-yzRDK6k).

\---

The Sheriff’s Secret Police have put up a roadblock at exit 72B, preventing any further attempts on the part of Night Vale citizens to visit the floating city. Clouds have begun to reform around the floating city, but this time they are dark and slightly red in color. The Sheriff’s Secret Police reported that the clouds showed up about fifteen minutes after it became clear that no more cars would be taking the new off-ramp.

No one has yet located an on-ramp coming _from_ the floating city. Freeway exits with no re-entry are _so_ annoying, aren’t they, listeners? They can really add an extra hassle to road trips. I think that the Sheriff’s Secret Police have the right of it--if there’s not a way back on the interstate, the off-ramp won’t do anyone any good.

\---

Here at the station, we can no longer see the floating city at all behind the clouds, but it is raining down a damp, sticky ash upon our town. At first, we feared that the ash was wet with blood, but Carlos has reassured me that it’s something else entirely--though he has no idea what the dark fluid actually is. He added that the ash seems to be of the same composition as the moon, but that, we both agree, is completely impossible. I mean, we all know that the moon is merely a projection and has no real physical substance, right?

\---

The Hiram McDaniels for Mayor campaign has weighed in on today’s floating city incident, issuing a statement which reads as follows: “Encouraging a friendly exchange between our town and cities around the world is a noble goal, indeed. However, the exchange must go both ways. What we experienced today was a prime example of poor planning on Mayor Pamela Winchell’s part, as we’ve lost many members of our community and have gained nothing in return. When I’m mayor, I will ensure that Night Vale benefits from exchanges of this nature.”

Mayor Pamela Winchell responded with a brief statement that read, simply, “You know nothing.”

\---

Listeners, it is safe to come out of your homes. The clouds have vanished into the night sky, and the floating city is gone. Unfortunately, the Night Vale citizens who drove to the floating city--including Intern Devon--are gone as well, with, it would seem, very little chance of ever returning to us. My condolences go out to the family of Devon, and to everyone else in Night Vale who lost a friend or loved one today--though an anonymous source just pointed out to me that most of the cars that took exit 72B appeared to contain complete family units. Well, that is some small relief. On a personal note, I didn’t get to know Devon very well in the brief time we knew each other, but I always had a feeling that he was meant for more than small-town life. I’m excited for him and for the opportunities he’ll have on the floating city--it really did sound like a great place to live, didn’t it? For the rest of us, safe here in our cozy town … goodnight, Night Vale. Goodnight.

**Author's Note:**

> Today's weather was "The Wind and Rain" by Altan.  
> Today's proverb: "Where we're going, we don't need roads. All roads lead to Rome, and we're going to London."
> 
> Thank you Alice for red-inking!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Floating City (podfic)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1193601) by [susan_voight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/susan_voight/pseuds/susan_voight)




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